Category Archives: My take on things

Practical BJ tips

There are tons of how-to’s and advice columns all over the internet about giving a good BJ. If you’re reading this you’ve probably already seen many of them, so I’ll assume you already know all the basics: about his balls and perineum, about using your tongue, covering your teeth and all the stuff that’s covered in every other oral sex how-to. There are more than enough articles out there about those things, so I’m offering a few ‘practical’ suggestions that are rarely seen in those columns.

If you have long hair, tie it back. First of all, that will give him a much better view of your face and facial expressions (and if you’re doing it right, he’ll love watching). But, more practically, it prevents your hair from getting in your way. You don’t want it in your mouth or getting covered in spit Plus, a simple pony-tail or bun will leave your hands free for his pleasure instead of having to constantly brush aside your hair.

Having trouble controlling your gag reflex? There are two ways to go about this, the hard way and the easy way. The hard (and more traditional) way is to tell your partner that you’re having trouble not gagging then have him help you take him in as far as you can repeatedly until your body forgets to gag. Yea, that’s about as fun as it sounds. The easy (or cheating) way is to buy some sore throat spray – the kind that numbs your throat – and use it 2-10 minutes before you start giving head. Oh the marvels of modern medicine! Just relax your throat and take him deep inside you, no annoying gagging to kill the moment. The best part is, after you use this method a few times you’ll be able to do it with no ‘help’ just as fast as you would have using the tedious traditional method. (NB: don’t use the spray immediately before going down on him, anesthetic and hard-ons don’t mix)

So you’ve heard that you should pay attention to his balls. I remember reading that in Cosmo before I had ever even seen a penis and I remember thinking about it the very first time I gave a guy head. It didn’t help at all. I mean, what does that even mean? I’m sure there are plenty of methods to doing this (feel free to add yours in the comments) but I figured I’d toss in a simple how-to to help you get started. My favorite method is to cup his balls gently from the bottom with one hand then roll them around my palm with my fingers. Imagine a pair of those stress balls that you roll around each other – keep the motion slow and steady. Practical warning: he might tell you he likes it when you squeeze his balls. If he’s not a masochist then he probably doesn’t mean squeeze. You should absolutely never squeeze his balls unless you know whatΒ  you’re doing.

Sucking cock doesn’t really require any sucking at all. I was very confused about this for a while. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to suck, by all means go for it. But, if you make a tight seal with your lips and move your mouth up and down on his shaft he will feel a ‘sucking’ sensation without any actual suction on your part. Actually, I don’t thinking ‘sucking’ adds anything to a good BJ. You’re better off not worrying about how tight your lips are around him and concentrating more on using your tongue (and not using your teeth)!

Watch porn! Why does no one ever say this? Probably because so many guys out there think it’s ok to treat girls like porn stars… Well, in this case I think it’s safe to say go for it. If you’re not big on porn I’ve presorted one of the most popular free porn sites online to show you it’s most viewed oral sex videos. 15 million views can’t be wrong πŸ˜‰

Never given head and kind of grossed out at the thought? There are definitely some people who don’t like it and never will. But don’t knock it ’till you’ve tried it. My advice for a good ‘first time’? Talk about it ahead of time, tell him you haven’t done it before and what you’re worried about (for example, if you don’t want him to cum in your mouth, make sure he knows you mean it). Don’t pressure yourself by thinking that you have to make him finish, instead try focusing on getting to know him and his body. Mess around, try different things – dxon’t let yourself get bored! Even if he doesn’t cum from it, he’ll definitely appreciate your efforts and probably show you just how much if you let him fuck you after.

Don’t really like giving head but want to do it anyway? Pretend you’re loveing it, it’ll be over that much faster πŸ˜‰


Sexy piercings?

I love piercings (on guys and girls). But, because of a bad experience with a belly-button ring in high school, I’ve never gotten anything else pierced. I really want a new piercing but I can’t make up my mind where I want it. I think the indecisiveness might be an excuse to procrastinate. So, help me out please! What should I get pierced? I’m thinking maybe nipples, or tongue or eyebrow but if I get a better idea, who knows? Nothing that can’t be removed/concealed for a job interview though! If I get enough suggestions to help me make up my mind I’ll post a pic when it’s all done πŸ˜‰

And while we’re here, I’ll share a funny story with you guys. When I first met Amor he had these super sexy piercings in his eyebrow and lip and he was rocking this whole geek/punk thing. I had just come from my internship and was wearing business casual and my natural dark hair up in a ponytail (my shirt was a little see-through though, I don’t like to look 100% like a good girl!). Who would’ve guessed that I was the kinky one? He was really sweet and spent the whole time not staring at my boobs and I spent the whole time staring at his lip ring wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

When I’m watching you cum…

I hate when I’m watching perfectly good amateur porn and then, right when I’m getting ready to enjoy the cum shot, the guy pulls out and starts stroking himself with his thumb and index finger as if his penis were something he’d rather not be touching. Such a turn off. I mean, there’s a reason we call it jerking…you can’t jerk something with two fingers. Just my opinion of course.

I like strong, confident men. I love it when a man knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to take it. That goes for when he’s fucking as well as when he’s jerking. I like watching a man who can grab a girl’s head and force it down on his cock, or who pounds into her pussy so hard his balls slap against her ass (I like being the girl too, of course!). When that kind of man is ready to cum he grabs his cock with his full fist and he jerks it hard and fast. He pumps until he can’t hold it anymore and then he points it at his slut’s face, tits, or ass and unloads.

Mmm, I hope at least some of that landed on her tongue. When I’m on the receiving end of a wank like that I just can’t help wanting to swallow every drop of that cum, then throwing myself at him again and begging for more.

Thoughts on Threesomes

I like to watch one kind of porn at a time. Maybe I’ll watch one week of nothing but bondage, then I’ll get bored and switch to public sex or spanking or maybe even something I haven’t watched before. Not everything I enjoy watching would be something I would enjoy doing. For example, I think gang-bangs are really hot to watch but really I’d never want to switch places with that actress.

For the past few days I’ve been watching nothing but threesomes. Double penetration, girl-on-girl-on-guy with or without any kind of bondage or kink. It’s not just porn either. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop, dreaming about it, and – finally – planning it.

The first part is the hardest. How do you go about finding a girl who would be into a having a threesome with a couple and who is attractive to both Amor and me? Sure, we could post a personals add, but I’m pretty specific about what in terms of personality and that’s not something you can learn about a person in one meeting. And if we try the other way around: meet girls until we find one we like and hope she’s into threesomes…well, I don’t foresee that working out too well. I need to think more about this part.

Obviously, whoever the third person is she will have her own turn-ons and limits so I can’t really plan a scene without her. But it’s so much fun to imagine πŸ˜‰ First off I want to say that even though I consider myself straight, I think women can be really sexy. I’ve kissed a girl and liked it and I’d like to do more, but it’s doing it in front of a guy (or guys) that really turns me on. That said, if (when?) we do have a threesome, I hope the girl is bi (and hot!). I love those scenes at the start of every porno with a threesome where the two girls make out and undress each other while the guy watches. I’m just assuming Amor would like that because I’ve never met a guy that wouldn’t. I’d like to feel her breasts and play with her nipples while we kissed. Maybe we’d rub each other’s clits or even finger each other. Then, the classic 2-girl blow job. We start out kissing each other and we slowly make room for the tip of his cock. We kiss and lick all the way down his shaft, feeling each other’s tonges cross occasionally. Then, we take turns deep throating him, just a few strokes each. When he decides he wants a more sustained cock sucking he grabs one of us by the hair and forces her to keep going. The other girl nibbles and sucks on his balls, waiting for her turn. It really turns me on thinking about him fucking my mouth while another hot girl works on his balls.

The rest I’m still working on. I think I need to go watch some more porn! πŸ˜‰ I can’t decide whether it would be more fun for one girl to sit on his cock while he licks the other’s pussy, or if he should take one of us from behind while she gets the other off, or maybe we should kneel so that our hips are on top of each other and he can take each of us a little at a time. Maybe he should fuck one of us standing up while the other kneels and licks his balls, wet from the other girl’s excitement. Or we can lay on the edge of the bed, one on top of the other and while he fucks either of us he could look down and see the girl on the bottom pleasuring the one on top with her hands. Maybe both girls should sit on him, making out while they take turns riding his cock. Maybe we can even through in some rope or some spanking? Oh, it would be so nice to be shoulder to shoulder with this girl as we kneel on all fours, our asses turning red from a spanking and our wet pussies on display. These are just some of my favorite ideas, I’ve been thinking about this for days. All I know is that at the end it would be amazing if he came on our faces. I would love to lick his cum off her face and kiss her again to thank her for helping me make my Amor’s day.

Thinking about my kinks…

I’ve been reading a lot recently on various blogs and websites (as well as a few books) about kink. Not the sexy kind of writing though, I was reading about the practical stuff. How to negotiate a scene, how to meet a dom/sub, different opinions on how to get started, advice on how to handle it emotionally when you admit to yourself that you have some fantasies that don’t fall into your understanding of ‘normal,’ and other stuff like that. I used to read those kinds of articles and blogs a lot, back when I was still trying to figure out my own sexuality. What struck me now, and the reason I’ve been so fascinated with it, is how different my experience was from what almost everyone describes.

Maybe it’s a generational thing. Maybe most people who have enough experience with kink to feel like they can give others advice have been at it for so long that they are necessarily of another generation. Or maybe it was so much harder ‘coming out’ back then so now they feel obligated to help the younger generation. Or maybe it’s just me and everyone else in my generation still had to deal with a lot of those issues that I’m always reading about and never experienced.

For example, I never felt shame about my kinky fantasies. I’ve been fantasizing about being dominated since I was in 5th or 6th grade. I didn’t even know it wasn’t ‘normal’ back then. Then when I was a freshman in high school I met a friend of a friend’s who was dating a guy from the BDSM scene. Like all young romances, all she could do was talk about him and all the bondage, discipline, and impact play they were doing. Everything just clicked as I listened to her talk. I finally had a name for what I felt. Because I’m part of the internet generation I could find out everything I wanted about BDSM and kink in a matter of hours (do over 18 warnings ever work?). That was the first time I came across anything that suggested people should feel ashamed of their sexuality. It didn’t work, I still felt fine.

Fast forward a few years. I’m a senior in high school and I’m desperate to lose my virginity before I leave for college. My boyfriend is happy to oblige and suddenly all my adolescent fantasies seem so naive. I’m perfectly content with vanilla sex and it’s so exciting exploring and learning about my body and his. I eventually get bored and start thinking about all those things I used to fantasize about. I tell him not really knowing how he’ll react – after all so many older, more experienced people were writing about how hard it was to tell people. He thinks it’s hot (like every guy I’ve ever told) and we decide to try it out. We mess around with some stuff, nothing serious, for a while but eventually I realize he’s not good for me and leave him.

Fast forward a few more years. I read more articles and blogs online. They’re telling me how hard it is to meet a dom/sub, that if I want to find someone who can fulfill me sexually I have to look for a dom in the community and not a boyfriend in real life. I decide that having a partner is more important than having a dom, so I don’t look for one. Instead I meet Amor. He’s sweet and a little geeky and doesn’t even kiss me until our third date. He’s just so respectful. He’s definitely not the dom type, but he’s just so wonderful. We fall in love. I share some of my kinks, asking that he not be weirded out because we don’t have to do anything he doesn’t like and vanilla sex is totally fine if that’s all he wants. He thinks it’s hot.

But, he’s never tried anything BDSM related before. So I go back online. I search for a long time for advice for couples who are perfectly happy with their sex life but want to learn more about BDSM. Nothing. There’s advice on how to find a dom/sub, advice on how to tie ropes and use safewords, there’s advice on how to save your failing relationship with some DD, or how to have a ‘master’ and a husband at the same time. But nothing that would really help us. So for a while we don’t try anything new. A little at a time we start adding toys but it’s pretty expensive to buy stuff that you might not even like.

So we go to a local kink community event. Our particular local organization does a wonderful job of introducing people to everything in the kink world. Finally we meet some people our own age and a bit older who are happy and kinky and more or less know what they’re doing. With a little help getting started we’ve managed to find our own way since then.

I realize now how very lucky I was. I figured out my kinks when I was very young, I was introduced to BDSM in a positive environment, and I was lucky to find a partner who not only has the same sex drive and kinky desires as me, but also someone whom I can love and admire outside of the bedroom.


*note: I really meant to finish Part 2 of my last post by now, but I’ve been kinda out of it this week. I’ll do my best to have it done tomorrow

I’m all happy today!

Some friends came over last night to cheer me up since I haven’t been able to go out much recently. We (they) played guitar and sang and we talked about all kinds of things. One of the guys had never met my boyfriend, Amor. He saw a picture of us on the wall and commented “He looks like a really nice guy.” Well, he is a really nice guy, that’s one of the first things I noticed about him when we started dating. I remember telling him on one of our first dates that it was so refreshing to meet a genuinely nice, caring guy. I got over the whole ‘bad boy’ thing after high school and really didn’t want to try that again. At the same time, I was pretty much ready to give up on BDSM and some of my kinkier fantasies because I just didn’t see how a nice guy could ever be into it. But here we are, three years later and submitting to Amor is the most natural feeling in the world…because he’s so nice! It’s the fact that I know he wants me to be safe and happy that I can let go completely. Not only can I let go, but his generosity makes me want to think of new ways to please him πŸ˜‰

Just wanted to share that little revelation ’cause it made me happy!

Randomly horny

I’ve always been a very sexual person. I masturbate a lot and I love to have sex. So that’s why it’s so hard for me to believe how incredibly horny I’ve been since starting this blog. I didn’t think it was possible to be much more into sex than I already was. But, for the past week I feel like all I’ve been doing is thinking about sex. Thinking about good sex I’ve had, fantasies that I have yet to live out, porn I like, sex toys I have and sex toys I want, how bad I need to feel a cock in my mouth right now…

It’s this blog. Everything I see I think “Oh, maybe I can write something about that!” and since this blog is about sex after all, that kind of thinking invariably leads to me getting horny and making myself cum. Not that I’m complaining. I’m starting to think maybe that’s what Amor had in mind when he suggested I start this blog. Well, since I’ve spent so much time over the past few days surfing for all things sex and kink related I thought I’d share some of my favorite links πŸ™‚

This photo is so sexy, but you can check out the whole site to find your favorite

These video clips are from a shoot with the incredibly sexy and kinky Tara Lynn Foxx. I *really really* want to try what she did in the coffee shop when I get my new toy πŸ˜‰

I’m loving this blog by Pygar for his interesting perspective on being a Dom. I’m a sucker for nice guys.

I’m drooling over these cuffs that you can use in the shower! But, I’m wondering whether they’re strong enough to hold me if I struggle. It just doesn’t feel right if I can get out of it! Anyone out there used these before?